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Life · December 26, 2018

5 Lessons I Learned in 2018

2018 has been INTENSE, but, oh, so good.

I started the year fresh out of med school finals and ready to hit the job market (not as a doctor), although I didn’t know which job market I’d be hitting. After three months of job hunting without results, I started tutoring kindergarteners and high-schoolers, and even held a summer reading program.

Then in September, I stumbled upon freelance writing and editing (which you’d think I’d know to go into — I am a writer, after all), and voila! I’m officially a freelance writer and editor — hire me, please.

Throughout the year, I didn’t have a ton of time to stop and reflect. I was working/job hunting a lot, reading A LOT, and volunteering as a bible teacher 70 hours every month. As things have been winding down, I’ve been talking with friends and realizing how much I’ve grown this year. It only makes sense that I share my lil nuggets of wisdom with you.

Afoma Umesi

5 Lessons from 2018

Trials Refine

If I had to pick the biggest lesson of my year, it would be that trials refine us. Call it cliche, overstated, hard to believe, whatever — it’s true. Hard times are tough and can be heartbreaking and discouraging, but when you claw your way out of them, you’re so polished and strong, it’s unbelievable. My favorite thing is that I’m less afraid of challenges or difficulties because as long as there’s life, there’s a way out. It may take AGES, and lots of blood, sweat, and tears, but there’s always a way out if you hang on long enough.

You Have to Do the Work

2018 was the year I made the shocking realization that I can be pretty lazy. Not lazy in that I never do anything, but lazy in that I was afraid to work hard at things. If I didn’t like the thing and it took too much energy, I was checking out — and quick too. This year, I understood what it means to work at things, to chisel away at endeavors until I knew I had given everything. You have to do the work. Want to be a writer? Then write every single day. Want to become a videographer? You better start shooting. Want your blog to make money? You better post quality articles consistently.

[bctt tweet=”This year, I understood what it means to work at things, to chisel away at endeavors until I knew I had given everything. You have to do the work.” username=””]

Afoma Umesi

Your Life is Yours

If you’re fortunate to have people in your life who love you, it is such a blessing. But no matter how much people love you and want the best for you, your life is yours at the end of the day. If you’re fortunate, you’ll be stuck living it years after some of your loved ones are gone. So, choose well. Think deeply about the things you decide to forego, and what things truly matter to you.

It’s Okay to Take Breaks

This year, I gave myself permission to disappear from many nonessential spaces as often as I needed. When life overwhelmed me, I switched off as many energy-sapping portals as I could manage. I even took a three-month break from blogging when my freelance work picked up (always grateful for more work). It’s okay to withdraw from things that do not rank as high on your priority list. You can always return to such things when you have the capacity.

[bctt tweet=”It’s okay to withdraw from things that do not rank as high on your priority list. You can always return to such things when you have the capacity.” username=””]

Keep Evolving

I’ve learned that it’s okay to change your mind and my blog is a tangible representation of how much I’ve changed. From diary-style writing to dabbling in style posts to becoming an online space to be me (and get clients, hello!), it has evolved over the years. My goal is to continue to give myself the space to grow and tweak things as I go.

I’m sharing 13 other lessons from 2018, including what I’ve learned about ‘dream jobs’ and my ultimate 2018 lesson with my newsletter squad. If you want in, it’s super easy to sign up here.

Afoma Umesi

–

What did you learn in 2018?

If you missed it, I shared a list of books releasing in 2019 to get you warmed up for the coming year.

Speak soon,

– Afoma

 

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Comments

  1. Desire Uba says

    January 1, 2019 at 6:02 am

    Hi Afoma!
    Its so nice to see you back here and to know what you have been up to. Happy to know you’re doing good!
    2018 was a rather fleeting year for me, I cannot understand how it flew so fast, but it is all good.

    I learnt that my life is literally what I decide to make of it and I am taking that to 2019.
    I also learnt that as much as we want to, we cannot change people.
    I’m excited about what the new year would bring.
    http://www.desireuba.wordpress.com

    Reply
    • Afoma Umesi says

      January 9, 2019 at 2:20 pm

      Yes, Desire! We really need to be intentional because time seems to fly these days! Thank you for reading! <3

      Reply
  2. Demilade says

    January 4, 2019 at 6:09 pm

    I love these lessons Afoma! I especially love the first one; trials refine you. I’m a scaredy cat and sometimes I wish life was simply smooth sailing but of course, that’s not the case. When I think of future hardships or stressful times, I get scared. That’s why I find what you said so encouraging, trials definitely refine you. I look back at some of the things that have happened in my life and I can see how they have shaped and improved me. Happy New Year Afoma! xx

    PS: Congrats on the freelance work!
    Coco Bella Blog

    Reply
    • Afoma Umesi says

      January 4, 2019 at 6:15 pm

      Thank you Demi! They do; don’t be afraid! Enjoy the smooth seasons and work hard to thrive in the rough ones too 💕

      Reply
  3. Kay Kathleen Belaniso says

    January 7, 2019 at 11:37 am

    Hi Afoma, I love this! <3 You put all my sentiments into words. 👍

    -kaykathleen 😉

    Reply
    • Afoma Umesi says

      January 7, 2019 at 1:30 pm

      HI KAYYYY!!! Thank you so much for reading ❤️❤️❤️ I’m glad you could relate!

      Reply
  4. Mollie Reads says

    January 22, 2019 at 10:54 am

    OK, I’m late to this post, but YES! I love it. Trials do indeed refine us. Some serious words of wisdom in this blog post! x

    Reply
    • Afoma Umesi says

      January 31, 2019 at 10:02 pm

      Eeek! Just seeing this! Thanks, Molly 🙂

      Reply

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✨how ‘bout a little virtual reality?✨

☀️ Addie has reluctantly moved across the country with her dad for his summer job in the virtual reality industry. He's working on research to use VR for therapeutic purposes, such as helping people cultivate empathy. Addie is not into VR, but that starts to change when she meets Matteo another kid on campus, and tries out VR on her own. Eventually, the two find a helpful use for VR that helps other people.

🥽 I loved the illustration style in this one and while I found the VR setting a bit disorienting, I appreciated the unique lens of the story. The graphic novel format works brilliantly for helping readers appreciate the power of VR. I think with text, it would have just been too much “world-building.” This is more engaging and exciting for kids.

🐢 Lo and Behold is a clever middle grade graphic novel about virtual reality, grief, and parental addiction. Readers who enjoy VR will love this one, but as the Author's Note mentions, it will also be a fantastic introduction for those who, like me, aren't familiar with it. A fun summer read with hints of serious themes.

#mglit #middlegrade #bookstagram
✨surprisingly heartwarming middle grade✨ 🗺 ✨surprisingly heartwarming middle grade✨

🗺️ Ginny’s summer is thrown off when her dad gets a surprise redeployment in the middle of their family’s moving to another city. Then, her geography camp gets canceled. Her sister seems to be making new friends, but no one appears to like Ginny–even when she starts her own geography camp. 

❤️ I loved this book way more than I thought I would (from the synopsis). Ginny has such a great voice and she isn’t always the most likable character but she’s always real. I loved watching her grow throughout the story.

📍This sweet, unique young middle grade book made my heart grow and ache for Ginny and her family as they navigated a season of change. Features illustrations and a new geography fact in each chapter.

#amreading #mglit #middlegrade
My current adult reads! HAPPY TRAVELER is a non- My current adult reads! 

HAPPY TRAVELER is a non-fiction title about making travel work for you and creating enjoyable, memorable experiences. So far, I’m enjoying the author’s musings on travel.

HELLO BEAUTIFUL is a bookstagram darling (need I say more?) and I already know I’ll be reading it for a while. It’s one of those books that really forces you to slow down. The writing is so tender; it feels like the author loves her characters ❤️

#bookstagram #amreading #readersofinstagram
✨growing up is full of bumps on the way✨ 🤓 ✨growing up is full of bumps on the way✨

🤓 Sixth grade is off to a rocky start for Rex. His district moved most of his elementary school to another middle school, his best friend ditches him for the popular crew, and his blurry vision means he has to get clunky new glasses–the only kind his family can afford. 

❤️ This sweet graphic novel for fans of Telgemeier is an ode to middle school, family, and finding your people.

#graphicnovel #middleschoolbooks #kidlit
Do you like to hop on the “buzz train”? I find Do you like to hop on the “buzz train”? I find that buzzy books are often worth the hype. Even the few people who dislike them tend to have STRONG feelings about them 👀 which to me is a sign that the story got to you somehow. Of course, not every book is for every reader — hype or not. I share my tip for finding a hyped book that matches your reading tastes.

Which hyped books did you love? And which ones missed the mark for you?

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✨a different kind of sunshine✨ I loved this g ✨a different kind of sunshine✨

I loved this graphic memoir about the author’s time as a counselor at a camp for kids with cancer. It was my first time reading anything by this author and I totally get the appeal.

This one didn’t end up being as sad as I thought it would be but it was very moving, especially because Krosoczka shares newspaper clippings and pictures of one the families with whom he forged a particularly close relationship even until his college years.

If you’re looking for an engaging graphic memoir for older kids ages 11+ this is a great choice.

#graphicnovel #kidlit #yareader
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This book! Brilliantly written, impressive characterization, and a plot so unexpected. It left me physically shaken (it's not feel-good), but it feels so necessary, so timely. A solid debut about the search for the great American Dream, familial sacrifices, and confronting our ugly inner selves -- all in less than 300 pages. 

You'll like this if you like:

Multiple perspectives (3 perspectives, 3rd person POV)
Character-driven stories
Time-jumping plots
Devastating endings

If you prefer straightforward, plot-rich, fast-paced stories, you might struggle a bit with this one at the start. But it's worth it!

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☀️ Meet the Bookstagrammer ☀️ Hi, new fol ☀️ Meet the Bookstagrammer ☀️

Hi, new followers! It’s such a pleasure to have a few new faces around. I love finding new readers to follow on the gram. 

My name is Afoma and I run a book blog called Reading Middle Grade. I also run a Facebook Group and newsletter related to my blog. In my day job, I’m a freelance writer and editor, with a degree in medicine.

I’ve lived in three continents (born in Nigeria, med school in Ukraine and the Caribbean). I live in Nigeria now with my husband and many, many books 🤭 I love to cook and travel and run. This year, one of my goals is to become a better runner. I’m currently able to run 2K without stopping. 

Even though we don’t have traditional four seasons in Nigeria, the summer months are my favorite. From childhood, they were the one time when my overachieving, perfectionistic self could RELAX. And do nothing! And even now, I try to take time off in the summer to do nothing.

Some of favorite books this year have been LASAGNA MEANS I LOVE YOU, THE LOST YEAR (I lived in Ukraine for 3 years, so this resonated with me!), and MAAME. 

Thank you so much for following my reading journey! Tell me something about yourself — hobbies, favorite books, anything! ❤️
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